Residual Memory
by Myndi
Summary: Title is subject to change. The story doesn't have too much to do with the LEP, but the main thing is, the daughter of the Russian mobster, Britva, finds out that Artemis is nearby and kidnaps him...Dun dun DUN!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My first Arty fic, so be nice to it. It takes place 3 years or so after the Eternity Code (or whatever the hell it's called.I'm not good with book names). Also, you should know that after the first chapter, there is another person writing with me, so if some stuff is in a different style, that's why. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy it!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this chapter (except maybe the girlfriends [note the plural form of the word, lol]). They all belong to the author.  
  
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Mulch Diggums wandered up to the wrought iron gates of Fowl Manor, checking his reflection in a puddle in the gravel driveway. After a moment of what he thought was an intimidating stare at the security camera, he undid his back flap and unhinged his jaw.  
  
Clearing his throat, he began to tunnel. In mere moments, he was past the gate and resurfacing in front of the large oak door. He re-hinged his jaw, shook the last bits of dirt from his behind, re-buttoned his flap and used a stick to press the doorbell.  
  
*Inside Fowl Manor*  
  
Artemis Fowl Jr. now 16, was on the couch with some of his numerous girlfriends. After being expelled from St. Bartleby's at 14, he had changed considerably. He no longer attempted the large-scale crimes such as he did before, but lowered himself to petty crimes. Things like theft, assault, and vandalism were no longer below his standard.  
  
When the doorbell rang, he gave a groan, "Butler!"  
  
Butler rushed out of the kitchen, "Yes, master Artemis?"  
  
"Could you do the honour of answering the bloody door, please," It was not a request.  
  
"Of course," Butler said, walking carefully to the door. He opened it and looked around for a bit before his eyes settled on the tiny dwarf, who was looking sweetly up at him.  
  
"Can I speak to Mr. Artemis Fowl please?" Mulch asked.  
  
Butler raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Junior," Mulch added.  
  
"What is your business?" Butler asked as per protocol.  
  
"I wish to speak to Artemis," he repeated. "I'm an old friend,"  
  
"What is your name?"  
  
"Mulch Diggums," he replied. Then after Butler was out of earshot, mumbled: "Not that he'd know it, after what the LEP did,"  
  
Butler returned to the living room, trying to avoid looking at Artemis and his "affectionate" women, "One Mulch Diggums to see you, Artemis,"  
  
Artemis sighed and stood up, apologizing to the girls, before turning his gaze on Butler, "Who the hell is Mulch Diggums?"  
  
Butler shrugged, "He said he was an old friend,"  
  
Artemis strode over to the door and took a look at Mulch before, "Who the hell are you and what the fuck do you want?"  
  
Mulch sighed and let the remarks wash over him, "My name is Mulch Diggums, I am a dwarf from the underground fairy city of Haven. Ring any bells?"  
  
Artemis's eyes glazed over as the memories began to rise up out of the dust in his mind.  
  
"Ah, my job has begun quite nicely," Mulch said to himself. He raised his voice to Artemis again, "You told me to come back in a few years. It has been a few years and I am back,"  
  
Artemis nodded silently, "Of course," he said. "Do you have the, the uh, thingamy." he struggled to remember.  
  
"Disk?" Mulch asked, pulling a small coin-looking goldeny thing out of one of his pockets, "Yes, I do."  
  
"Come right in," Artemis said, moving out of the doorway to let the dwarf in.  
  
Butler, who had been watching Artemis from behind, whispered to his master, "Who is he?"  
  
"An old friend," Artemis replied quietly. "Follow us,"  
  
Butler nodded, trying to keep up with the quick strides of the young Fowl boy. Eventually, he fell behind, clutching his Kevlar reinforced chest.  
  
Artemis led Mulch into a room of computers. He turned the largest of them on and popped out the disk tray.  
  
Mulch handed the disk to Artemis, who rubbed the gold paint off. He dropped the disk on the tray and slid it into the tower.  
  
Artemis brought two wheely chairs over and sat in one, "Take a seat, Mr. Diggums,"  
  
Mulch looked at the chair, "Ahem,"  
  
"Sorry," Artemis pushed the little lever on the side to lower the seat so that Mulch could climb on. "Push the other lever to go back up,"  
  
Mulch climbed on and looked around for a second before pushing the "up" lever. This sent the seat rocketing upwards, causing Mulch to lift several inches off the seat.  
  
"Should've warned you about that," Artemis said, giving a very uncharacteristic giggle.  
  
Mulch's left eye began to twitch.  
  
Artemis opened the file contained within disk.  
  
Butler walked into the room.  
  
Artemis wiggled a finger at his bodyguard, indicating him to come closer.  
  
Butler obeyed and looked at all the info on the screen, "Holy hell,"  
  
"I know," Artemis breathed, "Pity Juliet couldn't be here,"  
  
"She's busy with Madame Ko," Butler said. He gave a glare to Mulch, now able to remember their first meeting.  
  
Something suddenly clicked in the back of Artemis's head, "Are Short and the LEP still looking for you?"  
  
"Nah," Mulch shook his head, "They think I'm dead,"  
  
"Again?"  
  
"Again."  
  
"I think we need to meet up with the fairies. Send the girls home, Butler, we could take a while," Artemis said, opening up a web browser and going to . He began divulging all the information he had on the LEP, fairies, Tara and other related things.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N2: How'd y'all like it? Please REVIEW!!! I will respond to ALL reviews if I can!! Polite criticism is welcomed and encouraged! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So, we received several reviews from people saying things like (said in a whiny voice) "That's never how Artemis would act" and "You're totally ruining him."

You know what, if you don't like it, you don't have to read it. It's that simple.

Now, both of the authors have read "Opal Deception" (we both read my copy, by the way…) and we know that this isn't how it turns out, but I'm the one with the binder and I feel like posting something.

Like I said before, if you don't like this story, sucks to be you because I'm posting whether you want me to or not.

Oh, and this story was written entirely by Nikki Lamont, not me (the person typing this is Nicole Blaseckie, owner of Myndi and this account).

Disclaimer: The only characters that are owned by the authors are Serenity Shizuka, and Myndi McKerson, unless otherwise noted. All other characters (Arty, Butler, Root, etc) are copyrighted to Eoin Colfer and his lawyers

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"Find anything good?" asked Myndi as she casually filed her nails while lying on her bed.

"No," replied Serenity who was seated on the floor in front of Myndi's bed with a laptop on her crossed legs, "Absolutely nothing to see. And Myndi?"

"Mmm?"

"Why do you bother to file your nails? Never get them the way you want and end up having a fit."

Serenity could almost see the steam issuing from Myndi's ears as she responded, "I do not! I file them just fine! And I never freak out! Ever!" she was now standing with one hand on her side and the other stretched out, file in hand, looking for all the world like she might stab her roommate.

"Calm yourself, Myndi. There's no need for that. I apologize."

"Damn straight you do."

Serenity sighed. Myndi was great, but she far was too….angry sometimes. "Ad…hoax…fancomic…fanfic…hoax…oh, what's this?"

"What the eff is that damn beeping! I thought you pirated that popup blocker software!" Myndi practically screamed.

"I did. It's not a popup."

Suddenly, Myndi was calm. She placed her nail file on her bedside table and strode to where Serenity was seated, then crouched to see the small computer screen. "It's…"

"A fairy site. A good one at that," Serenity said.

"I can see that, dumbass."

"Oh, what a compliment."

"Stuff it."

"What do we do?" Serenity asked.

"Trace it, I guess," Myndi replied with a shrug.

"Very well."

Myndi puffed herself up into an important-looking stance, "Very well," she mimicked, "my blondie-roomie-slave."

Serenity paid her no attention, "Oh…" she mumbled.

"What? What? What the fuck is it!"

"Fowl."

"Great. Stinky things."

"No, Fowl."

"Birdies?" Of course Myndi was just playing at this point, she knew exactly who Serenity was talking about.

"Artemis Fowl…that's a lovely name…"

Myndi rolled her eyes, "You're such a sucker for mythological names."

"So what if I am?"

Myndi looked into her eyes. They shone with mischief and an urge to shoot/stab something. Somehow, this look didn't frighten Myndi in the least. It never did.

"We should find him," Myndi suggested.

Serenity scrolled through the main page, "Yes. But we should contact Root first and let him know we're taking care of it."

"Let's go then!" Myndi said, going to the corner of her room and pulling the metal strongbox that served as a weapons locker out from under a pile of laundry.

"No lasers," Serenity ordered, knowing full well the lasers were what Myndi was going fo.

"Why not? They're so much more fun."

"PP7's this time. Lasers are much more easily detected by sensors," she explained rationally.

"Pfft. Fine. Have it your way," Myndi said, rather disappointedly.

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A/N: That was a short one.


End file.
